Benjamin: Comic or Crazy?

Benjamin is actually the comic in the house as most of these pictures will show. He has a *great* sense of humor - but does still need to learn to use it more wisely. He has discovered girls and that has made a difference in how he takes care of clothes, his appearance, etc., so that's one great part of it. (Not looking forward to the other parts...!)

It's funny because we thought Daniel would be the athlete, but it's turned out the other way round. Benjamin loves all sports, and does very, very well at most of them. He took basketball, track, tennis, swimming and soccer, skiing (twice only with W.A.S - see Nadia's blurb) and would love to do more stuff if we could afford it.




He mowed for a neighbor during the summer in exchange for a small canoe. He's loved the canoe, and even convinced Nadia to do a little of the paddling. Not that they got very far with her efforts! You may ask where Daniel is in so many of these pictures. The answer is that he is off somewhere "doing his own thing". On *so* many family excursions - he's just off wandering around on his own. He's much happier that way. I try to snap pictures of him, but he resists most of the time. Usually I mostly get pics of him if I snatch them unawares.

Benjamin is a HUGE tease and drives me to distraction because he's always on Nadia, and she rises to it so easily. When he's not driving her crazy, he plays wonderfully with her. He also knows how to push his mother's buttons with incredible efficiency and RELISHES doing it, and I am not smart enough to *not* let it get to me sometimes.... Still working on that!

Ben got braces in the fall and is finally getting used to them. He does *really* well at managing himself and not eating contraband foods. He'll have some more surgeries next year. His speech is still abysmal, and I'm afraid he won't improve until he decides it's important to him. He honestly doesn't comprehend that people don't understand him, despite most everyone going, "WHAT did you say??" and our best efforts to show him otherwise (taping him, etc.). He's impossible about practicing and working on it.

My biggest challenge with Benjamin is that he is INCREDIBLY disrespectful - but as far as I can tell, only to me - and he does not CONCEIVE that it's a problem. He's been this way since we got him, but it just gets worse as he gets older. I honestly think it's a response to the orphanage - because he just had female orphanage workers, and no regular male influence, and so I've come to believe it's a rebellion against the female authority.

I've tried everything from A - Z, and honestly - I don't "get" why he doesn't want to stop the behavior in order to not get the negative consequences. Unlike Daniel, he usually shapes up pretty quickly if he wants something. But not with the disrespectful issue. I have learned that I can *NOT* try to deal with it or talk to him about it in the moment, because he just spirals down completely if I do, and he gets CRAZY mouthy. I *can* get him to go to his room or go outside to cool off (something you can't make Daniel do), and then consequence him later. He only *occasionally* does it in front of Mark - and Mark does NOT let him get away with it - but it doesn't change anything. It's really hard to deal with.

He decided he wanted to take trombone at school, which has proved rather challenging for him (considering he can't carry a tune in a bucket). He's actually making progress though, and the great side benefit is that it is helping his singing. We have learned that he is not totally without musical abilities - he *can* learn - but it takes hours and hours and hours of going over and over and OVER it for him to "hear" a note and then hit it. We just had a school band concert, and by the cacophonous sound of things, this is not so rare!!